Play When You Are Ready to Play

Your emotional readiness to play and the immediate emotional state of your child are critical to the success of any learning activity. Both you and your child must be relaxed and tension must be at a minimum. Engage in developmental experiences only when it can be a joyful activity for both you and your child. If you or your child are overly tired, stressed, upset or distracted it may be better to wait until later to become involved in a playing activity.

Most parents know when they feel up to the challenge. If your child wants to play “Go Fish” but you are in the middle of a stressful moment, try something like this. Look at your child and say, “I do want to play “Go Fish” with you. But I feel kind of upset right now. I think we’d have more fun if we wait to play until I feel better. What activity would you like to do on your own until I feel ready to play?” Discuss some options and decide when you will play “Go Fish.” (For example, you may decide to play “after you play with your trucks,” “in ten minutes,” or “after lunch.”) Then say, “Thanks for being patient. I’m excited about the game we have planned.” Be sure to follow your plan and play the game together at the appointed time. In the meantime, find a way to relieve your stress: breathe deeply, stretch, put yourself in a room by yourself for 5 minutes, read something uplifting, call your spouse or a friend, and either solve the problem that is bothering you or decide to let it go for now. And chances are, playing with your child will help you feel better and refocus on your personal priorities.

After playing with and/or teaching your child, review the experience in your mind. Ask yourself if the experience was enjoyable for your child. Ask yourself if the atmosphere was relaxed and if there was ample opportunity for pleasant interaction, laughter and happiness. If it was not an enjoyable interaction, ask yourself why, and think of how you can approach it differently the next time.

The entire environment for teaching and playing in your home should be natural and largely spontaneous. As you watch for and create opportunities to play and teach, you will be able to carry out most of the learning activities contained in this blog, and at the same time permit your child to set the pace.

Reinforce Love of Learning with...Love.

You have the potential to be our child’s best teacher because you love him. Regardless of your training, background, or natural finesse as a teacher, love is your most powerful asset. Here are some of the benefits of teaching your child with love:

• A child who is guided with love learns to love his guide.
• He also learns to love the process of being guided.
• A child who is led with love is likely to develop into a radiant little being who loves discovering new truths, mastering new skills, embracing new experiences and cresting new horizons.
• He gladly follows his loving parent on their shared journey of discovery.
• A child who feels loved knows that it is okay to be wrong sometimes because even if he is wrong, he will still be loved.
• A child who feels loved is more willing to try, fail, learn, and try again.
• A child whose soul is fortified with the consistent love of parents is on the road to a joyful lifetime of learning.

On the other hand, a child who does not feel sufficiently loved is less likely to develop the confidence necessary to try new things, master new skills, and embrace the experiences life brings.

• A child who does not feel sufficiently loved often feels fearful, uneasy, and insecure.
• He is often afraid of disappointing his eager but overly critical parents. He is so afraid of being wrong—and being belittled, punished, or too harshly corrected for it—that he often opts not to try rather than risk the wrath of his parents.
• Parents who attempt to teach their children without communicating sufficient love to them often see their efforts backfire.
• When parents consistently become upset or impatient while teaching their child, the child often begins to associate hostile feelings with the process of being taught.
• He then develops feelings of resentment not just for his parents, but for the whole process of learning. This can be a devastating blow to the child’s current development and to his future emotional and intellectual life.
  

So, before you commence to teach your child anything, you must commit to love him. You must consciously create a relaxed atmosphere of love and acceptance, and commit to maintaining it.

Many parents, in their eagerness to see their children progress, often push too hard or expect too much from their young children. This usually happens for one of two reasons. First, parents feel that the way their child turns out is a direct reflection on them and are overly anxious to prove their own value as parents through their children’s accomplishments. Second, parents often push too hard or expect too much simply because they don’t know what is developmentally appropriate for their child at a given age.

This blog will guide you through the stages of your child’s development and help you avoid the common pitfalls of withholding love and pushing your child too hard.  I have to say here that I have made mistakes with my children in pushing sometimes too hard or becoming inpatient and as a result have gone backward in some cases with their interests in learning.

I currently have a preschooler at home.  Yesterday I introduced her to the piano.  It was really, really neat!  She loved learning to find and play middle C.  The she loved learning D, E, F, G, and then back down again.  Wow was she excited about learning!  She was loving learning the piano.  Please share what you are doing with you child and how it went.  Also please check back for more...because there will be more!