Incidental Teaching Means Play!

How do we build our child's mind without stressing them out (and without stressing us out in the process.)The first way to avoid putting undue pressure on your child is to focus on playing with her. The premise of this blog is based upon a loving parent-child relationship where play is the primary means of learning. If you want to have ample opportunities to teach your child, play with her and play with her often.


A formalized teaching agenda is almost never helpful or necessary for young children. If, when you think of teaching your child, you think of sitting down and making an announcement like, “Ten o’clock! Time for your math lesson! Put your blocks away and get out your pencil,” and then having your tiny child eagerly rush over to you for a rousing arithmetic lesson at the table, then you must think again. Perhaps the worst thing you could do is tell your child to put her beloved toys away so that you can rigidly teach her something “more important.” She will immediately learn to resent the activity that is making her put her toys away. So instead, if you want to teach her some basic mathematics concepts, find a way to incorporate them into your play time with her. Help her build towers with her blocks and count how many blocks you can stack on top of each other before they fall. See how many blue blocks, green blocks or red blocks you can find together.

Do not seek to schedule your child’s day by means of a rigid schedule where certain subjects are taught at certain times. This can be stressful and down right boring for your child. Instead, become a master of incidental teaching in your home. In other words, be on the lookout for opportunities to teach your child any concept that presents itself. Learning to recognize and seizing upon the fleeting teaching moments in your small child’s life is how to become a master of incidental teaching. Most often the greatest intellectual achievements occur in a relaxed setting where teaching arises naturally from the events of a child’s day.

A Passion For Learning Is One Of The Greatest Gifts You Can Give Your Child

If you are reading this blog, there is most likely a child in whose future you feel invested. A child you want to see grow up to be confident, intelligent and kind. A child whose natural brilliance lies brimming beneath the surface of his eager eyes. A child whose eyes look to you for love and direction. This blog was written to help you unearth your child’s unique brilliance and bring it to a glowing shine. And it is simpler than you might think.

Because your child is yours, you are in the prime position to enlighten, enable, and inspire her.

No one is better suited to teach your son or daughter than you. Daycare may protect her, soccer and dance class may entertain her, preschool may socialize her, the neighborhood or church may lend a helping hand, but you will leave the greatest impression on her soul. The things you do with your child, and the way you do them will significantly influence your child’s emotional and intellectual destiny. As you work, play, create, read, think and explore with your child you are laying the foundation upon which all of her future intelligence will stand. It is well worth your time, and the time to act is now.

Many parents feel reluctant to teach their young children before they enter kindergarten. Some parents feel inadequate and don’t know where to begin. Others have come to believe that it’s simply the school system’s job to teach their child, and that their role as parent is largely limited to feeding, cleaning and clothing their child. Other parents want to teach their child but struggle with how to teach a wiggly, strong-willed person with a short attention span. Some parents feel that they’re just too busy to do much teaching. Whatever the reason, many parents resign themselves to thinking, “He’ll learn that in kindergarten,” and miss out being involved in what could have been some of the richest and most rewarding years of their child’s life.

The principles and ideas in this blog will help you recognize, create, and capitalize on teaching moments with your child through every stage of his early life.  Whether you are teaching your child how to hit a baseball, how to count to twenty, how to sort socks or how to read a map, you are also teaching him to love to learn. A passion for learning is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

The More Effective Way to Building your Child's Intellect

It is important to teach your child, but it is more important to do it the most effective way. The most effective way is to be patient and loving and kind even when your child repeats mistakes or does not progress at the rapid rate you would like. The most effective way is to teach with empathy—to consider things carefully from your child’s point of view and adjust your teaching to fit his needs.


The most effective way is to protect and treasure the relationship you have with your child more than you value his “intellectual progress.” If your child’s intellectual progress is more important to you than his feelings of acceptance and worthiness, then your efforts as a parent and as a teacher will be limited. You may be able to help your child excel in some areas, but his sense of worth will be compromised. There will be tiny cracks in the mortar of your relationship. To ensure that your child feels good about himself and has a solid relationship with you, you must show love far more often than you show disapproval. You must be kind before you can effectively correct. You must love your child as you lead him.


As you follow the suggestions in this blog and apply them with love, you will grow closer to your child. Your child will feel secure and emotionally nourished. He will sense and experience your love as you engage in teaching and playing with him. If you apply the suggestions in this blog without sufficient love, you will be little more than a pushy, overanxious parent who is raising a disgruntled child.


So how do you find the right balance between appropriately challenging your child with love and pushing him too hard? The next few blogs that I post will suggest two vital answers to that question.


If you are reading...please let me and others know what you think.  Please share your experiences.

Reinforce Love of Learning with...Love.

You have the potential to be our child’s best teacher because you love him. Regardless of your training, background, or natural finesse as a teacher, love is your most powerful asset. Here are some of the benefits of teaching your child with love:

• A child who is guided with love learns to love his guide.
• He also learns to love the process of being guided.
• A child who is led with love is likely to develop into a radiant little being who loves discovering new truths, mastering new skills, embracing new experiences and cresting new horizons.
• He gladly follows his loving parent on their shared journey of discovery.
• A child who feels loved knows that it is okay to be wrong sometimes because even if he is wrong, he will still be loved.
• A child who feels loved is more willing to try, fail, learn, and try again.
• A child whose soul is fortified with the consistent love of parents is on the road to a joyful lifetime of learning.

On the other hand, a child who does not feel sufficiently loved is less likely to develop the confidence necessary to try new things, master new skills, and embrace the experiences life brings.

• A child who does not feel sufficiently loved often feels fearful, uneasy, and insecure.
• He is often afraid of disappointing his eager but overly critical parents. He is so afraid of being wrong—and being belittled, punished, or too harshly corrected for it—that he often opts not to try rather than risk the wrath of his parents.
• Parents who attempt to teach their children without communicating sufficient love to them often see their efforts backfire.
• When parents consistently become upset or impatient while teaching their child, the child often begins to associate hostile feelings with the process of being taught.
• He then develops feelings of resentment not just for his parents, but for the whole process of learning. This can be a devastating blow to the child’s current development and to his future emotional and intellectual life.
  

So, before you commence to teach your child anything, you must commit to love him. You must consciously create a relaxed atmosphere of love and acceptance, and commit to maintaining it.

Many parents, in their eagerness to see their children progress, often push too hard or expect too much from their young children. This usually happens for one of two reasons. First, parents feel that the way their child turns out is a direct reflection on them and are overly anxious to prove their own value as parents through their children’s accomplishments. Second, parents often push too hard or expect too much simply because they don’t know what is developmentally appropriate for their child at a given age.

This blog will guide you through the stages of your child’s development and help you avoid the common pitfalls of withholding love and pushing your child too hard.  I have to say here that I have made mistakes with my children in pushing sometimes too hard or becoming inpatient and as a result have gone backward in some cases with their interests in learning.

I currently have a preschooler at home.  Yesterday I introduced her to the piano.  It was really, really neat!  She loved learning to find and play middle C.  The she loved learning D, E, F, G, and then back down again.  Wow was she excited about learning!  She was loving learning the piano.  Please share what you are doing with you child and how it went.  Also please check back for more...because there will be more!  

Introduction to Building Your Child's Intellect Blog

As a child of well known educator TH Bell, one of my earliest memories was playing chess with my dad.  I remember being introduced to the chess pieces: the King, the Queen, the Rooks, the Knights, the Bishops, and the Pawns. I was fascinated and excited about the various shapes and personalities of each chess piece.  Then dad taught me how each chess piece moved on the chess board.  After his introduction, we started to play the game. I was delighted.  We continued to play each morning before he would leave for work.

This experience of playing chess with dad was a part of a program that he devised for my home-based early childhood education. By following his program, (along with my mom) he left a legacy for me: a love of learning and a keen intellect.

Now as a dad, I enjoy learning activities with my children such as: clapping rhythms, looking at books, making sounds of animals, playing piano, going on walks and hikes, and playing chess.  I would like to share this home-based early childhood education program with the readers of my blog.  As you follow along, I hope that you will be inspired by some of the ideas.