Reinforcement Theory in Building Your Child's Intellect

Reinforcing your child's love of learning will increase your bond with her!

Reinforcing your child's love of learning will be one of the greatest gifts you can give your child and will reward her for the rest of her life.  Read this now and start to reinforce positively!  If you do, you and your child will be glad you did, now and forever!

Understanding and applying this principle will immeasurably increase your ability to bond with, teach, and fortify your child.  To illustrate reinforcement theory, consider these examples. Have you ever noticed how a child who is praised for how well she dances continues to dance? Or how a dog who is rewarded with dog biscuits and a hearty scratch being the ears for fetching sticks loves to fetch sticks? Or how a boy who is cheered on as he rounds third base loves to round third base? Or have you noticed that when your family says, “Thanks for dinner! Wow! This is delicious!” you start thinking that maybe fixing dinner isn’t so bad, and start considering what else you can cook up for your appreciative fans? In all of these examples, reinforcement theory is hard at work.

By definition, to “reinforce” means: to strengthen or increase; to make stronger; to encourage. In each of the above examples, a certain behavior was strengthened, encouraged, or made stronger. The reinforcement or encouragement in each example was unique, but the key is that it came. For the dog, it was the biscuit and the scratch behind the ears; for the boy playing baseball it was the cheers; for the dancing girls it was the verbal praise.

In a nutshell, reinforcement theory is this: people are likely to persist in doing things they are rewarded—or reinforced—for doing. The reward a child experiences as a result of any behavior “reinforces” that behavior. Reinforcement can come in many forms including verbal praise or physical touch. A smile, a hug, or a, “Hooray! You did it!” from you are all forms of reinforcement that are fortifying and pleasurable for your child. If a child is not consistently reinforced—through praise, encouragement, and physical touch—for the things he tries and the progress he makes, rebellion and dislike for learning often result.

Applying the reinforcement principle is key to helping your child develop both learning skills and desirable behaviors. If a child is consistently reinforced for performing a certain behavior such as making her bed, she is likely to continue making her bed. A simple statement like, “You made your bed! Thank you so much!” accompanied by a hug is usually sufficient reinforcement for a child. If a parent fails to notice or reward a child for the desirable things she does, the child is less likely to continue doing them. So, your job is to think about what behaviors you want your child to persist in doing, and reinforce her for doing them.

Undesirable behaviors can also be “accidentally” reinforced if parents are not conscious of what responses they give to certain behaviors. For example, if a child cries when she is refused a toy at the store and the parent responds by “caving in” and buying her the toy, the parent is encouraging—or reinforcing—the child’s undesirable behavior of crying to get her way.

Consider these additional examples involving reinforcement theory. They may help you think through how you can use the reinforcement principle in your home to obtain the results you want:

Example: A 3½-year-old child keeps begging to eat ice cream between meals. The parent has determined that the child’s nutrition is adequate and that she should not be hungry an hour after she has eaten. The child is persistent and increases the pressure until the parent gives in “just to keep her quiet.”

Comment: This is applying reinforcement to develop undesired behavior and bad eating habits. The child learns from the success of pressure and persistence that the parent will eventually give in to her demands. The behavior of whining and the habit of eating sweets between meals are unwittingly reinforced.

Example: Mom is tired and hurrying to get dinner on the table. Her five-year-old keeps trying to get her attention to show her the pictures he just drew. He tries to show her several times, but each time she ignores him or says, “I don’t have time to look at that right now.” She does not look at him or respond sufficiently for the boy’s liking. In his frustration, he hits his little sister as she walks by. Mom then gives the boy her full attention; she looks at him and addresses him directly.

Comment: Although the boy is being scolded, he has gotten his mom’s attention, which is what he wanted. Thus, he is learning that hitting gets mom’s attention. He is “reinforced” for hitting when his mother refuses to pay attention to him unless he hits. Although being scolded may not seem to be a “pleasurable” reward, some children consider any attention from their parent (even negative attention) better than no attention at all.

The mother was busy and needed to continue her dinner preparation. But it may have been wiser to look directly at her child and say, “Show me your picture while I work.” After a 20 second explanation from the boy of what he had drawn, the mother could then smile and say, “Wow. Thanks for showing me. I really like the way you colored that mountain. Could you show me your other pictures after dinner?” For the sacrifice of 30 seconds, the mother could have reinforced the behaviors of both artistic expression and kind conversation rather than reinforcing the need to hit.

Example: A little girl proudly holding a broom says, “Look, Dad! I swept the floor!” Dad looks over and sees a small scattering of crumbs still littering the kitchen floor. Dad says, “Thanks so much for sweeping. I didn’t even ask you to! You’re really growing up and becoming responsible.”

Comment: Dad wisely reinforced the desirable behavior of helping without being asked instead of focusing on the less important factor of how well the child was able to perform the task. If a child has done her best, let it be enough. Praise her for what she has done instead of scolding her for what she has left undone. There will be other opportunities for teaching her how to effectively use the dust pan. If you want her to continue to sweep the floor, praise her for doing it. Is she likely to sweep the floor again if her initial efforts to do so were rewarded with criticism?