Play When You Are Ready to Play

Your emotional readiness to play and the immediate emotional state of your child are critical to the success of any learning activity. Both you and your child must be relaxed and tension must be at a minimum. Engage in developmental experiences only when it can be a joyful activity for both you and your child. If you or your child are overly tired, stressed, upset or distracted it may be better to wait until later to become involved in a playing activity.

Most parents know when they feel up to the challenge. If your child wants to play “Go Fish” but you are in the middle of a stressful moment, try something like this. Look at your child and say, “I do want to play “Go Fish” with you. But I feel kind of upset right now. I think we’d have more fun if we wait to play until I feel better. What activity would you like to do on your own until I feel ready to play?” Discuss some options and decide when you will play “Go Fish.” (For example, you may decide to play “after you play with your trucks,” “in ten minutes,” or “after lunch.”) Then say, “Thanks for being patient. I’m excited about the game we have planned.” Be sure to follow your plan and play the game together at the appointed time. In the meantime, find a way to relieve your stress: breathe deeply, stretch, put yourself in a room by yourself for 5 minutes, read something uplifting, call your spouse or a friend, and either solve the problem that is bothering you or decide to let it go for now. And chances are, playing with your child will help you feel better and refocus on your personal priorities.

After playing with and/or teaching your child, review the experience in your mind. Ask yourself if the experience was enjoyable for your child. Ask yourself if the atmosphere was relaxed and if there was ample opportunity for pleasant interaction, laughter and happiness. If it was not an enjoyable interaction, ask yourself why, and think of how you can approach it differently the next time.

The entire environment for teaching and playing in your home should be natural and largely spontaneous. As you watch for and create opportunities to play and teach, you will be able to carry out most of the learning activities contained in this blog, and at the same time permit your child to set the pace.